* shrug *
there it is. another email about promotions. another day of feeling like all my hard work is not paying off. it’s not that i was passed over for a promotion that i wanted, it’s that even though i’ve taken on 1 new role and 1 new title, it never matters. even though i’m now responsible for training all new hires for the front desk – the ‘face of the hotel’ … and working part time in reservations. i still have my current/old control job. today i worked control and trained a newbie at the same time. tomorrow i’ll do reservations while i train. Great. then they may want me to come in on my day(s) off to train some more. forget that i just worked a 65 hour work week….. and the fact that i didn’t even get 24 hours notice that i had a new hire coming in to start. and the fact that it’s the son of a senior vice president of the company. Excellent. Sure, i can stay and work an extra hour & a half preparing for him. Sure, I can still start at 6:30am and stay until 5:30pm today. and tomorrow. and friday. and probably my next off day too. UGH. I’m just getting a little worn out. But i need the money, so the overtime is welcome, but my patience and attitude is wearing thin (it usually does after just 3 or 4 days of work in a row… ).
So then today i get this awesome email about how great of a job so-and-so are doing (times 4) and no mention of what a killer job i do every fucking day, even though all my managers fight to have me on their shift because they know i can handle the position and things run smoothly when i’m there… Just a single line thrown in somewhere in that email about the roles i’ve been given and how I do a good job would suffice. I don’t want to be any sort of center of attention, but it would sure be nice to have it acknowledged that i work hard at doing a good job. Guess i have to kiss some more ass for that. O wait, kissing more ass would require me to kiss any ass to begin with. And thus is my problem. Not only am i incredibly socially awkward, but I refuse to kiss ass. I’ve told one of my bosses how i feel about her leaving after this week (i want to wrap my arms around her & never let her go! …she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to our department) but only because i sincerely mean it…
so, it’s just another day of feeling like all my hard work is not paying off, but i just have to keep reminding myself that it is, i just don’t see how yet. one day i will see it though. …right??
